- Current Mood: nervous
- Current Mood: tired
I have been away so long. Thanks to those who did not delete me. I am back and hope to get caught up but I have almost forgotten how all this works.
I am just heartbroken.
I am back from the bridal shower and it went very well. Emily was pretty and got lots and lots of presents. My son even showed up. He didn't participate but just lurked around. I was glad he was there. He may have shown up to see if I came. He was very happy and surprised to see me.
My husband called him and apologized for being an ass to him and he apologized too. So right this very moment all is right with the world. Now if I can keep from getting paranoid between now and the wedding it will be good.
My dress should be in on 2/11 and I can go for the fitting. Can't wait. Also I talked to Brian's stepmother and told her I wanted to pay for 1/2 of the rehearsal dinner. She was so nice and she, Emily's mom, and myself all sat together for most of the shower.
Sunday is the bridal shower for my future daughter-in-law. I am not looking forward to this at all. I have been totally shut out of this wedding and my name is not even on the invitations. His stepmother is. The truth be known I have just sucked as a mother. When it came time to fight to keep my kids I just let them go. And now I am paying the price. Their dads fought dirty and made them feel guilty and it was tearing their hearts out so I gave in to keep them from hurting and now I get left out. How is that fair?
- Current Mood: crushed
Teenage drama and jealousy. Live and learn. Learn is the operative word here. ha ha
Things have been ok for the last couple of days. I have been trying to enjoy it but sortof waiting for the other shoe to drop kind of feeling.
I am also trying to be calm and not verbalize all my negative thoughts. I still have plenty, I am just not saying them out loud. Trying to say more positive things.
Went to my hearing on Tuesday morning. I was scared to death. We went in and the judge asked the lawyer for an opening statement and he told him what was wrong with me and gave him the doctors forms. The judge asked my name and date of birth. Talked a few more minutes and approved my disability and back payment to 9/2009. Yeah. Thanks for all the good wishes.
- Current Mood: chipper
- Current Mood: distressed
Ok I went to the lawyers office today, yes on Saturday. He was preping me for my hearing on Tuesday. He went over the questions the judge will ask and told me just to stay calm and tell the truth. He said the judge is really nice and is better than most at granted SS Disability Benefits. So we will have to see. I am nervous, no downright terrified. We have to be there Tuesday at 8:30 am. I have to go in with only my attorney. They will not let my husband go with me. Please say a prayer or send good thoughts, etc....
- Current Mood: scared